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after I removed her head
I put it in a pot
and went to bed

I had it on the low boil

I slept well, alone in my room!
in the morning it was so soft
that I could eat it with a spoon

the stroke and distance were right
now choke, no resistance no fight

there’s a human head sitting on a plate
I dared the turkey, in his shirt sleeves and top hat, to turn on the light

I took the dead deer
and hollowed it out
all the guts and insides I just put them in the bathtub
for now

I walked around town in my new costume
it never rains here
and I didn’t want people to see I was crying

adults don’t even notice
they’re too caught up in whatever else
most kids are terrified
but retarded kids think it’s awesome

I’ve gotten used to it
I dare say I even affect an appropriate gait
but I’m afraid it’s turning sour

even so it doesn’t stink half as much
as being in love with you

oh, blackula!
you’re like dracula,
but with a bigger dick.
and you never knew your dad.

oh, blackula!
with your ridiculous grape flavored blood.
you make me nervous
when you hang out with me and my girlfriend.

by no grace of god
Martin hit me in the leg with his wad
when we were hosing down a slut
in an MMF that included sex in the butt.
and now I’m not sure if I’m gay.

if you want a picture of the future, Martin,
imagine a black on a blonde — forever.

more pricks than kicks,
more colgate licks.
more skin than bone,
my nigga E.T. phone home or end up alone!

listening to beethoven
symphony number seven
thinking about putting your big head in the oven

oh gaylights
that oonts oonts oonts beat
those gaylights
men in boxer briefs
and muscles

oh but now the gaylights have faded
those daylights are messing me up again
and I don’t feel gay anymore

I’m going to have to tell mom
that those beefcake porno mags she found
belong to my secret girlfriend

I had a dream I was a centaur (again)
but I kept going around fucking horses.
I was like: what the fuck?
I had always imagined a girl with big titties
riding me around bareback
and that was enough for me.
but my horse half had other ideas
and was insatiable!

there I was in mortal battle with the evil elf Klungtong.
I’m not doing my army any good seeing as
my lower half is excitedly fucking one of the
enemy’s handsome war steeds.
look at me, from the abs up, turning red.

but the lower body has no shame and
fears not the clamor of battle all around.
safety last, I suppose, when there’s good horse fucking to be had.

I don’t know what the hold up was
but I finally joined the LPSG
(large penis support group)
it’s me and a bunch of black guys

Yes Sir, no Sir
A shot in the dork Sir
A spoon fucked a fork Sir
I’ll call it a Foon Sir
With the qualities of a spoon Sir
With the qualities of a fork Sir
The Foon will win the war Sir