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The wife looks agitated, she’s in one of those moods that you really don’t want to fuck with, then from over the top of the book she peers at the table and says “you continue down through the derelict vestibule until you reach an alter”. I of course tell her I take a look around, to which she abruptly spits “4 Spider Horses lower down from the walls behind you and corner you in the west archway.

I laugh, she still looks pissed off, I tell her Spider Horses were not in Monster Manual Edition 1 and therefore cannot be used tonight.

She ignores me.

“The Spider Horses use a rapid movement of 18 and pin you down, D12 STRIKE, 5  hit points, special attack, WEBBING…STRIKE….you cannot move, the Spider Horses surround you and begin spinning you into a cocoon, STRIKE STRIKE STRIKE.”

It’s fucking bullshit, but I sit there and don’t say a thing.